"Thierry and Ruud smoke 20 a day" - 'John Terry'

The BBC Sports website in their Review of the Week are reporting about a team in Division Three of the Birmingham Coronation League Alliance, Lynam Athletic, where the players have changed their name by deed poll to those of famous footballers.

The team are named after Des Lynam, although their website is quick to point out that he has no official ties to the team and that they apologise for any embarresment that they cause him.

Leading scorer Thierry Henry, who turns out to be 39-year-old Darren Yeomans, said:

"We wanted to strike fear into the opposition and we certainly weren't going to do that with our footballing skills, so we hit on the idea of the names."

Lynam Athletic crashed out of the first round of the Delmar Cup on Sunday after a 5-1 thumping from Division Two opponents The Iron Horse.

Captain John Terry (formerly known as Ian Flett) admitted:

"It was tough because it was Ronaldinho's birthday the night before, Thierry and Ruud smoke 20 a day, and Gerrard is always half cut on a Sunday."